Happy New Years

Greetings Paddlers

Uncle Ron and I were having your end of the year board meeting this week. As with most of our board meetings we had a few important topics of discussion that we wanted to share with our vested interest group. The first of which was to get a thank you out to all that paddled with us in 2012. We both want to say a huge “Thank You” to everyone for such a fantastic year of paddling! To the groupies, pirates, bachelors, bachelorettes, families, friends, moonlight floaters, daytime floaters, smore eaters, geologist, biologist, idealogist, , dogs, campers, multi-day paddlers, pole dancers, mushroom hunters, beach combers, out of starters, floaters, soakers, birthday partiers, tittie twisters (this was a guy on guy thing), transporters, Redi-2-Party for the rocking bus rides, to Jay for the best float that we have and all of the sand lovin mother kaw floatin friends we have…THANKS!!!

The second order of business was business. Considering how well everything went with floats in 2012 we figured we had better educate ourselves on some business terminology. After carefully scrutiny and a several IPA’s we believe that we have a firm grasp on the business lingo that will take UAC into 2013 with success. We thought we might share some of those terms and definitions with you.

• financial spread sheets: we still aren’t sure of which is better, being in the black or red. we decided to keep it natural and go with mother kaw green.
• joint ownership: see Uncle Ron about this.
• seed money: see above.
• accelerated deprecation: this would be uncle ron’s back after loading canoes.
• fixed assets: this one was tough but we conclude that Ky, Sam and Suke (Uncle Ron’s new puppy) would fall under this category.
• ergonomics: this was pretty easy considering that all of our kayaks and canoes are pretty darn comfortable.
• Unlimited liability: not Up a Creek
• floating rates: single kayaks $30, tandem kayaks $40 and canoes $50. Whew! That was the easiest one to answer.
• rate of interest: This is some real math work. Take the quality and quantity of beer that paddlers have. Divide it by the number of males and females in the group. Multiple it by the days forecast. The answer will tell you whether or not Uncle Ron and I will be interested in floating with you.
• keystone: very, very bad beer!
• microbusiness : Up a Creek
• equal opportunities: Uncle Ron is all about equal opportunities… you have the right to paddle regardless of gender, age, race, religion, disability, or sexual orientation.
• seasonal business: sure, we float in every season of the year.
• tender: your foot after you stepped on a cockle bur without sandals on.
• inventory levels: we walked down to the barn and looked in at the trailers, paddles, kayaks, life vests and canoes; we then walked back up to the house for another beer.
• freebie: Uncle Ron says there is no such thing!
• discount: refer to the answer above.
• salary/wages: refer to the answer two above.
• dirty price: the rate for the naughty pirate float.
• accountant: we should probably hire one.
• accounting costs: hmmm, this is why we need an accountant.
• hyperinflation: a super fast expanding life vest.
• think tank: drinking martinis at Uncle Ron’s
• virus: what happened on the river was suppose to stay on the river!
• Vision statement and Guarantee: ”If you have a bad time, it’s your own fault!”

Thanks again paddlers and we’ll see you in 2013!
Uncle Ron and Puppy